I know how to be a strong woman

I know how to be independent and take care of everything by myself

I know how to pick myself up after being taken down at the knees, dust myself off and get on with the day

I know how to harden myself to life and pain so that I don’t have to feel the intensity of some experiences

I know how to not rely on anyone, how to have my own back

I know how to give and give and give until I’m beyond empty

I know how to hustle, how to rush, how to get everything I need

I know what to do with “just enough”

I know how to struggle

I know how to be prepped to pack and run at any given moment

I’m ready to learn,

How to soften

How to let life and love support me

How to receive, without a notion of guilt or owing

How to not control every last element out of fear and be open to sweet surprises and gentle pleasures

How to listen and not react, take a breath, give it a minute to sink in, give it some time, be ok with not knowing all the answers or the outcome

How to have more than just enough

How to offer myself and receive more than just the scraps

How to stay and feel safe

I’m willing to understand that, by allowing myself to experience life with a little more softness I will not lose everything I have learnt.

If I need to lean on those independent skills again one day, they will be right there, never forgotten.

But pressing myself hard up against life isn’t working

So I’m ready to let go of all the things I know how to do and allow myself this season of trust falling

(The curious thing is, I think I already know how)